Let genuine love rule.
Romans 12:9-10 (NLT)
Don’t just pretend that you love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Stand on the side of the good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.
If I am following the model of Jesus, I am not going to put on a false act when I am with you and have another attitude behind your back.
If someone is a challenge to you, it gives you a chance to expand your “love character.” You stretch your potency when you desire to bless someone who doesn’t necessarily wish to bless you back. When I am being transformed, I love you like Jesus loves you. I desire you to be blessed and I act upon this. I honor you, meaning I put real value on your well being.
Genuine love builds up rather than tears down. This means I try to catch you at your best. I do not make any attempts to put you on the defensive where you are less likely to respond graciously. There is a phrase used that sums these actions up: “Anxiety-producing behavior.”
Anxiety-producing behavior occurs when I try to make people anxious on purpose to somehow advance my own agenda or gain more attention on my “rightness.” It may be subtle or even unconscious, but it is there. I may exaggerate the negative. The boy who cried, “Wolf,” and Chicken Little, “The sky is falling, the sky is falling,” are classic cases of this.
Genuine love takes the time to know what is necessary to put people at ease, even when dealing with conflict and disagreement.
“Love is seeking the good of another.” What do you think Dallas Willard means by this?