Colossians 3

14 Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. 15 And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.

“Rule”- “Referee”

“Let the shalom that comes from Jesus be the referee in your hearts.”

The action stops to sort things out.

Same for us.

If I am not experiencing peace, or the group I am leading isn’t experiencing peace, it’s time to stop until we are all able to return to joy. Don’t let upset emotions run the show.

By letting emotions go off the track we cannot live with the heart Jesus has given us, acting like our best true self.

This is so important, because many psychologists say the most important predictor of a person’s emotional health is the ability to return to joy from upsetting emotions. The same goes for groups.

Grudges that last weeks, months, years, may seem humorous in a warped way, but what they really show is a sickness and inability to live life the way God intends.

You are responsible for everything in your life. You always control how you interpret what happens to you, as well as how you respond.

Return from upset is another way of saying Return to joy. The more often this happens the stronger the leader and the group becomes.

The first step is to realize we have emotions. Emotions cause more problems when we try to resist them than if we accept them.

We save a lot of energy when we accept emotions, which allows us to calm ourselves quickly.

When we experience the full emotion, accept it, and deal with it directly, we are able to remain relational and act like ourselves instead of stewing in upset. Powerful connections are made when we are able to respond well to others during the emotion instead of having to wait until it is gone.

We don’t have to have the emotion disappear, but can be glad to be with someone despite what we are experiencing.

“I can sense and value myself now as much as when I am happy.”

“I can sense and value you as much now as when we are happy.”

We use the emotion to build a better relationship with others in the present moment.


What do we mean when we call someone emotional? Is this a criticism? Think about this.

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