Why do you think that so many of us are such poor listeners?
My problem is not if I am a good listener when you mean, “am I processing what you are saying?” I hear exactly what you are saying, but there are times it doesn’t look like it with body language and eye contact. Especially if I am in a social setting. Then, I can hear all the conversations around me and can tell you what everyone else is saying, too! So, I’ve learned to focus on eye contact and body language to be sure my attention is being received as attention.
I have gotten much better at paying attention because I have to listen closely in order to understand our grandchildren. Sometimes, I actually am reading lips to get the phrase.
You don’t want to miss, “I have to go pee pee” or worse, “My stomach hurts” which is code language for “I have to go more than just pee pee!”
But, we do have a hard time listening. Some of us are scanners in social situations. What’s a scanner. We’re having a conversation with someone and when we are doing the talking they are looking around as if saying, “There is a better conversation opportunity over out there somewhere.”
Or you have the famous, “my cell phone is ringing. “ I am in conversation with you and my cell phone rings and so I naturally stop listening to you and answer the phone. Like because it is a miniature computer and it is demanding my immediate attention, it is more important than my in-person face-to-face conversation.
No, if it is that important. They will call back.
Thursday, my friend and I were watching a video on brain skills and learning and how important it is to connect to someone face to face, live, in person, and how important it is to be focused in listening and then his phone rings and he answers it!
I just started laughing!
When are you best at listening?