(More insight from Dr. Jim Wilder on holiday blues and what can be done. Read the prior posts)

God designs ways that make it possible to join with him and make progress in addressing attachment pain. For instance, if you are missing someone, try doing the things you think they would want to do during the holiday. Fir example, if grandma has died, bake her favorite cookies. Decorate like she would decorate.

Remember, all good attachments are an expression of God’s love to us. As I receive the love of God, I can become the love of God for others, and I can carry on the love and goodness that God placed in that person, the one I miss so much, even if they are no longer here. When I share the love and joy they shared, they are here.

Whatever was good about them can be shared by me.

And when your dreams don’t come true with some of those around you who aren’t glad to be with you, take that to God. Ask him. God you made me. How are you dreaming for me, God? Who do you want me to be? Who do I want to be? Listen to how he answers. Get a sense of what he might be saying.

Now, if you are being physically hurt or damaged you will need to remove yourself from the relationship for any healing to occur.

But, if it is just an unhappy relationship, it is mainly because you are not being the person you really like to be.

Just be who you are. Your best true self. Go back to acting like the person you would be if you were loved and cared for. How would you act if you were treated like you want to be treated?

Be that person. Go ahead and act like yourself.

Oh, and one more thing. If your pain isn’t too overwhelming, then what if your dream is to start joy in low joy places? That is God’s dream for every one of us. Grace is when God puts his people in the middle of the parts of the world that could use extra joy.

If our dream is to show up in some low joy places where we bring a bit of joy to the world, there’s a chance to grow joy in a way that people don’t really ever dream of. And when you think about it, some of the people we admire most are those who bring joy in low joy places…

ME

When we act like we would act if we were treated like we want to be treated, how might that change the way others see us?

Yesterday, we looked at attachment pain. Because of how our brains are wired, there is no built in solution to turn off attachmentIMG_8279 pain. When we try to just forget about it and pretend it doesn’t matter. This is the Bah humbug approach.

Sure enough, you can eventually convince your brain that you don’t care. Trouble is, your brain will disconnect the thinking part from the feeling part. You will still have attachment pain, but you won’t know it. Then you’ll ask yourself, Why do I feel so blue this Christmas?

With attachment pain, we have little or no control over our defenses. So, we still dread getting together and we look for ways not to meet.

This also, has something to do with our dreams.  We all have dreams about what life should be like. We have been dreaming since we were little.

“I am going to dream about having joy when I grow up. I’m going to be happy. Jesus puts joy in my heart. Everyone will like everything about me. I will be popular and people will be happy I am there.”

Nothing bad happens in those childhood dreams.

But, when we grow up, our dreams don’t all come true. If our joy is dependent our dreams coming true, we will be disappointed. And when we have a high degree of attachment pain, everything is filtered by it.

We see kids having joy during Christmas and are full of joy…usually.

But, what about if your child dies or your child is sick? What if you want children but are having infertility issues? What seems to bring everyone else joy, those happy children, isn’t bringing joy for you.

Alright, nice bit of Christmas cheer I’m bringing, huh? Well, God gives us a way to experience joy even during the pain. Next…

ME

Have you or someone you know, had a hard time at Christmas when every around you seems happy? What was it like?

Is there going to be somebody missing this holiday season?

Are there people who will not be glad to see you?

Are there people you won’t be glad to see?

Using some helpful insights from neuroscientist and theologian Dr. Jim Wilder, I look at why we may have difficulties with holiday times, “Blue” Christmas and such, and what can be done about it.
Can we be a joy to the world?

God Time: Joy To The World?

uncle-sam-start-joy

“We are a low-joy nation. And what happens in low-joy places? Problems are bred. This low-joy has reached the highest levels. Our national leaders have finally succumbed to being almost pure predators.” (PD)
What is a predator?
What can be done?

How God wires us for joy and shalom…
How you might be the best true hope….Listen

 

DAILY DEVOTIONS BASED ON THIS SERMON

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Joy is a key theme in the life of Jesus and his teaching. Yet, we rarely speak of this in the Christian community. According to brain science, a high-joy environment is absolutely necessary for healthy brain growth. Considering a baby grows 2/3 of their brain in the first 90 days, dare I say, from the beginning, we are designed to be filled with joy.

As Christians, we are uniquely called to be the world’s “joy starters.” How?

First podcast in a series of how we can make progress in becoming the kind of people Jesus has in mind…

 

 

 

Go here for Daily Devotions based on this message

Psalm 105

Remember the wonders he has performed, his miracles… 

God has worked in your life in the past. He has blessed you.

He wants you to remember this. Are you grateful that God has worked in your life? Then remember it.

The God Times devotions you are reading begin each day with the same instruction.

Spend 5 minutes before you read thinking about one or two things you appreciate in your life. These appreciation memories will enhance everything that follows. 

When we daily think about things we are grateful for, we bring healing to our brains. Gratitude. From medical journals to psychology blogs to yoga instructions, to Christian how-to steps, every health website, every magazine seems to have a article or blog about the same thing.

Being grateful.

Everyone has jumped on the bandwagon of what King David and God’s people have always known to be true. Spend time being grateful each day. This wisdom is now as prevalent as the instruction to drink plenty of water.

Just google the word, “gratitude.”

OK, so why is this so important? It is important to remember what you are grateful for because God wires the brain to work best in an environment of appreciation.

You don’t even have to believe in God to know this. In an article I read, “Gratitude without God,” an evolutionary psychologist said this.

The evolutionary explanation for this, he said, is probably that gratitude helps people initiate friendships and alliances—which then help people survive.

I guess everyone knows that daily gratitude is important, it’s just those who trust in God get to thank the source. By remembering the good things God brings into our lives, it  strengthens our health and strengthens our faith. Again this is worship. By spending time each day thinking about what we appreciate, we are declaring God worthy.

ME

How are your times of appreciation going? Actually do this. It’s good for you. Three times a day for 5 minutes for 30 days will rewire your brain. Just start with today…