What is the strongest indicator of emotional health? Our ability to quiet ourselves quickly during emotional upset or…Return to joy

This is the third in a four part series on what it means to be a RARE leader. We are combining biblical principles with the latest brain science, based on the book Rare Leadership, by Marcus Warner and Jim Wilder.
When we develop four uncommon habits to increase our emotional maturity (EQ) we increase trust, joy, and engagement with the people we live with. The people we work with.


  • Sermon for November 6, 2016


Click here for God Time Daily Devotions based on the message


Colossians 1

So we continue to tell people about Christ. We use all wisdom to counsel every person and teach every person. We are trying to bring everyone before God as people who have grown to be spiritually mature in Christ.

Live out of your identity as God’s precious child. You are special in God’s eyes and he’s got your back. With God you need no mask and he is the only one who matters.

What else?

Live in community with God’s people whom you can imitate. People that you share day-to-day life with. You imitate the Christlike behavior of those God has placed in your life.

This is why young people have such a tremendous opportunity for growth as part of a church community. Besides your own family, you are not going to find finer adult models to imitate than those who make up your faith family. When you actually look around you, there are so many people invested in your life.

That’s what we do in Christian community.

We encourage relationship with the generations, and try not to isolate our people into generational niches. Maturity is a matter of growing together as our best true selves.

Those of us who are older have the experience in relationships and the living-life resources that we can share. Those who are younger have the energy and the curiosity that they can share. Together we move forward into a future where God is ahead of us, leading us as we act like ourselves.


Make progress in sharing your life with your faith family.


Galatians 3

For you are all children of God through faith in Christ Jesus.

Act Like Yourself…

This starts with identity. We have two identities.

Individual identity, “Who am I?”

Group identity, “Who are my people?”

Before we think of who we are, we need to know there is a lot inside of us ready to be like someone else. Our best true self, you can call it. We have the blueprint of the one God created. When we are acting like ourselves then, it is acting like our best, true selves.

So, who am I?

I am the son of an adoring Father who is the King of all that exists. You are the daughter of an adoring Father who is King.

Who are my people?

We are royalty. My people are those who identify with the same loving Father and follow in his ways, trusting in Jesus, our model and teacher, as well as our Savior.

Individual identity and group identity are not identical, but they can’t be separated.

As my identity is developing, how do I respond? It is helpful to think of group identity here, because that takes priority.

We start really developing group identity when we reach middle school age. This is why middle school or jr. high as you might have called it, are remembered not so fondly for many of us. Unless we suppressed those years all together:)

You might remember middle school as an awkward time. We mainly think of puberty issues and such as the source of our non-fond memories and awkwardness. With the latest brain science what we realize now is the main challenge of those years is we are establishing a group identity. Who are my people? Middle School students tend to experiment and go from group to group. Not as much puberty and awkwardness but confusion over who my people are.

This is why we invest in young people at this critical time so they know who their people are. Those who share life with them following Jesus. This is why we partner with parents to give sons and daughters the opportunity to explore who they are in the context of a faith community.

Here’s the thing. In the identity center of the brain we have neurons called, “mirror neurons.” These neurons can’t look at themselves. They can only look at others and activate the neurons that reflect what they see.

Jim Wilder says, “If I live with people who regularly show disgust around me, my mirror neurons will reflect that and I will learn to think of myself as someone who generates disgust. If I live with parents who take delight in who I am and demonstrate that delight regularly, I learn to see myself as someone who brings joy to others.”


Whenever you feel pressure or anxiety, remember you are God’s son or daughter facing pressure or anxiety.


“We are a low-joy nation. And what happens in low-joy places? Problems are bred. This low-joy has reached the highest levels. Our national leaders have finally succumbed to being almost pure predators.” (PD)
What is a predator?
What can be done?

How God wires us for joy and shalom…
How you might be the best true hope….Listen