Ephesians 5

33 So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Here comes the summary. Everything that has gone before in this biblical view of marriage is summed up in this verse.

“Husband, love your wife…Wife, respect your husband.”

What? Are husbands not to respect their wives? Are wives not to love their husbands?

No, both are certainly true. We are called to love our #1 neighbor as ourselves which means we are devoted to their well-being. But the way verse 33 says this is wisdom of great magnitude.

Men and women are not the same. Equally cherished by God. Equally valuable. But….

In my marriage counseling over the years, the number one challenge wives have of husbands is about their focus and devotion towards her and if there are children, towards them. Compassion. Cherishing.

The number one challenge for husbands? Respect and courtesy from their wives. Do you respect me, do you appreciate me for who I am and what I do? Are you encouraging?

Who understands the ways of husbands and wives? It is a great mystery. But, what we can understand is how husbands and wives respond to each other has a great deal to say about the good of our families and the good of society.

Again, husbands and wives devoting serious attention, thought, prayer and service to each other.

Husbands cherish your wife. Wives encourage your husbands.

Can it be that simple?

It’s a place to start…


What does it mean to “cherish?”